Photo by Max Schwoelk
Okay, I usually try to leave some room for jokes in my writing, but I don't know, this subject will chop me up to scrutiny more than "Dreamer" but I'm gonna to give it try. So what's going on with the term "sexualized"?
It's very easy to take offense to being accused of something you’re not guilty of; just watch someone not pregnant be mistaken for if they were and you'll see a vivid representation of what I'm suggesting. Surely it's not offensive to be considered sexy (beauty being in the eye of the beholder and all) is it? If one is mature of mind one can be expected to comport themselves respectfully when suggesting such a distinction to a woman or a man, right?
If you follow my feeds regularly you know I love "sexy" women. My definition of the term will include words like driven, confident, determined, intellectual, femininity, and lovely. If you were to ask me "what's my carrot" or what wakes me up at 5:00 in the morning to spend 2 hours in the gym, my answer will be the same, not because women are in the gym (to clarify), and most definitely not because it's the only thing I want in a mate (our ideal partner a compliment to our own spirit). All the health stuff aside, it is but one of the many motivators we get to choose from as people and one that I probably indulge too often.
Ok, enough of the marketing tactic. So what does it mean to be sexualized? We could look up a textbook definition, but if we consider the things we take offense to we can give a good guess and see how this is a growing concern. If you're visiting a social media site like Instagram you'll see how often subscribers have to block viewers to keep from being harassed while constantly taking strides to further educate what is and what isn't acceptable behavior. Dare we ask do we not already know?
I don't like it when I see guys brush a rude behavior off as if it’s a joke when I think clearly they understand the difference; otherwise they wouldn't be laughing about it. So the answer is no, we must not know the difference.
Is being sexualized the act of being attacked in some way, grouped into a stereotype where one is degraded, shamelessly debased, and tastelessly portrayed? Is it the lewd representation of men and women for entertainment purposes?
"That's not me" or "That's not what I'm about" is what appears to be the outcry (going far beyond the simple act of snapping a “sexy” pic and posting it). Or perhaps, there’s something else that underlines the need to voice this feeling of being disrespected?
When I witnessed a sign posted "don't sexualize queer women", another news review stating "women should wear lingerie for them d*#n selves", another comment asking women "who do they put makeup on for" as if to suggest it's for anyone but themselves, I had to ask does this problem run even deeper and for how long?
Sexual Harassment and Sexual Assault have by no means been abolished. This behavior occurs to the point that when we see such placards bringing awareness to it in the workplace you can't help but wonder who's being signaled out. But if we don't address the behavior, it's like not placing speed bumps on a road where a driver is likely to ignore they're in a residential area instead of remembering to slow it down.
The topic is serious and should be regarded as such because as long as the rude jesters and comments and advances continue, those of us that are respectful and are mindful will be indistinguishable from the threat that is real, leaving us all to feel under attack.